Paris and the Eiffel Tower

I discovered upon my trip to Paris that visiting the eiffel tower is not just a simple tourist attraction, it is a long gruelling test of will and stamina, honestly! If you don't beleive me check my

Step by step guide to visiting Paris and the eiffel tower, the idiots way
Which isn't spelt wrong

Step 1:Arrive in Paris, check into a hostel and acquire a map of the area.
Step 2:Decide to check out the eiffel tower
Step 3:Leave the Hostel and wander aimlessly down several streets, you should find yourself now in 'the ghetto'
Step 5:Find a net cafe and decide its a good idea to check your e-mails
Step 6:Leave ghetto and head back to where you started
Step 7:Consult map to confirm that the eiffel tower is in fact in the opposite direction
Step 8:Wander in said opposite direction
Step 9:Wander some more
Step 10:Find yourself right back where you started, for some inexplicable reason.
Step 11:Purchase a Hotdog
Step 12:Wander back in the general direction of the eiffel tower, this time with your map at the ready to ensure you look just like a tourist.
Step 13:Find the eiffel tower

Step 14:Queue

Step 15:Queue some more

Step 16:Continue queueing

Step 17:Go up to the second floor

Step 18:Take photographs of paris

Step 19:Queue again

Step 20:Go to the top!

Step 21:Take more touristy photos, much like the ones already printed by the windows

Step 22:Leave

Step 23:Get lost again on your way back.

Step 24:Purchase a further Hotdog

By now you should have killed in excess of 8 hours time and discovered that [a: You don't particularly fell a fear of heights while effectively caged in with no chance of accidentally falling and [b: Paris hotdogs are fit!!

Yer maybe I should start taking the underground